a simple blog.

selfish

2012-03-05T22:09:00.002+08:00

"being selfish once in a while isn't wrong."

but, what is it i need, exactly?
i knew i was being stupid. (:

i cant wait to see our photos from today. still need a photo with Mesh, Ben, Zheng and Ivory each. no, two! one decent, one nonsensical.

Fin~

twit twat

2012-03-05T02:45:00.003+08:00

for anyone who read that selfish, childish post last night i posted without thinking, i'm sorry. it was late, i was tired, and i was only thinking of myself. i know my mistake now, forgive me. you, especially. i cant control my feelings around you, even reading the daily things that happen to you, maybe cause i just want to be there as your friend, someone you can depend on, lean on. i should be happy for you that you are, glad. but im not. cause as hard as i've tried before time and time again, it still wasnt me you'd heart.

i gave you all.
and i will continue to give.
cause this is what i believe it's supposed to be. it's true, sincere. and it's not for me. it's for you.

Fin~

sacred meeting time

2012-03-04T17:20:00.002+08:00

once every week, hmm? whatever keeps that happiness.

i'm leaving figures 3 soooon. i've seen talk about how drawing the background with the lightbox is cheating. but i dont understand. yeah i guess it is a more noob way, makes you seem weak. but it's a way still, and it gets the job done. pretty easily too. i'd do it, my lines are wayyy to hard to erase, something else i need to fix ahhaa. i'm still contemplating whether it really is that bad and weak to use a lightbox. oh well. another week to live.

Fin~

pro but noob.

2012-03-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

YAY painting! lady looks a little like a man, hair's too dark, i blame the black, and the clothes are weird. but hey, YAY PAINTING! i havent painted since the last sem, and i think i LOVE it. it's SO much more fun without the boundaries the classes set for us. freestyle painting, it's so LOVELY. whenever i'm bored, this is what i shall do.

both my lecturers're losing their first impressions, one more than the other. i'm starting to love them both, one more than the other too. some are starting to look a little different from their previous impressions too, and that isn't too good. used to think he was better than that. but all in all, i predicted about right about all of them, accept one. i didnt predict this friendship.

my third sem is already ending. i honestly didnt learn much this sem, kinda felt like it just came and went, study wise. everything else is fine and as it should be. living the dream.

Fin~

Empty Space

2012-02-29T01:33:00.001+08:00

yay figures 3.

days like these, you brush those feelings off, bry. dont let petty matters get in the way of your happiness.
life's still great, and you got an excellent day ahead of you.

Fin~

lost and found: minds 2

2012-02-27T20:35:00.000+08:00

i've been daydreaming again, in the middle of class. good thing it was a simple, fine class. didnt have much work, just a simple update and brief, some minor classwork. my mind was everywhere today, so misplaced and scatter-brained. thinking of so many things at the same time, and not thinking at all at some times too.

i cant wait to paint on wednesday, im very excited. my imagination of the scene i want is there, i cant wait to try it out. i have a soar throat and i still want to worship lead so badly! Lord heal me plzzxz, and bring march closer, i really want to serve again. i really want Last Dinosaurs' debut album, Miike Snow's sophomore too! Meta's creeping in too, i really hope they are ready. great things are up ahead.

Fin~

wait for the drop..

2012-02-27T01:24:00.000+08:00

HAHA look at us.

talking with the people, realizing even more how important the heart is. i think i really have to hand it to Brother Phillip. he really does have the right heart for the youth. he loves, cares and fathers us so sincerely. we owe him a great debt hahahaha. where would we be without the right heart to do things. everything would have been a flop. El Elyon, every P&W session, Cell Time, Prayer Meetings. i thank God constantly for he has placed my heart in the right position to serve. this isnt normal. it's very God-like. i thank You for it Lord.

so this is what it feels like to be proud of someone. proud to know the person has grown and matured, and the person is taking charge, representing little bits and pieces of our leaders too, the good qualities. it's really uplifting, beautiful.
also encouraging to know people look up to you, that what you have done impacted this person's life, for they trust you to have good advice for them to use, tho you rarely dish out any advice you find all up there. hahaha
this must be also how it feels to be loved. heheh. love you too boy!

this is for you.
and everyone else who needs a laugh.
but especially for you. :D

gooooood monday morning. (:

Fin~

on a more serious note:

2012-02-25T19:02:00.001+08:00

went for the praise and worship post mortem today, and i was so glad to see the people there and their dedication. new fresh faces, grown up golden oldies and the apprentices taking over.*sniff* so beautiful. and the words spoken, it remains true; we must never settle for this, the standard we are at. we must strive further. there's no such this as perfection, but we must strive for it. we must forever improve our skills, and ourselves. i'm so glad to be part of this team, this family.

in other news, just heard Last Dinosaurs' album via Facebook streaming, and OMG DAT SHIT CRAAAAY man. it's SO good.
and i'm feeling less sickly by the second, PTL BRO PTL. (:
here's to the future!

Fin~

Kahyan Likes My Milkshakes

2012-02-25T18:51:00.003+08:00

My frozen lactose-based dairy beverage attracts the general male populous to the grassy enclosure in front my place of residence, and they proclaim its quality is superior to yours, I can inform you of the recipe but I must demand compensation.

o yeah.

Fin~

hey hey it's 9:12pm

2012-02-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

AND I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING. :D
need some passion to continue this nonsense.

Fin~

SILICONE AND HUMAN

2012-02-20T01:56:00.002+08:00

Audrey Theah, in the future, i want to read back and know that you said SILICONE instead of CYCLONE, but that's okay. happy birthday, too! :D that right there is my entire singapore trip.

got back from singapore, and all i could think of was the youth. all of them, every one of them, how they were doing and what was going on that week. like a father to a child. omagad im falling so in love with the community, the feel! the chairs are getting SO FILLED, i see they even needed the BENCH! every week is a new adventure, and more people are getting involved in the worship team, it's amazing to see. all this new, raw, kept talent soon to be out in the open, for God. it's so refreshing to know how much is going on, and i cant wait to be there and experience it again. went to Montfort last thursday too, and it was amazing. i love being able to see lives get touched and turned around, seeing people given a second chance, wanting and hoping for a second chance. it's so beautiful, i want to be part of it all.

is this what prayer and longing and desperation does to you? a stronger wanting for more? a strange feeling i havent felt since my younger days, and that was when i was still misguided in what i truly wanted to do. but it's still different. now that my mind is clear, and i'm fired up, it's truly different. it feels so sincere and pure, and i pray it's as i feel it is, the energy flowing beneath my skin. i'm so tired, yet i cant wait to serve with all i have again.

lovely, simple lovely. this next 2 weeks are going to be a blast of happy anxiety till the next youth service.

Fin~

too much creativity/bad ideas

2012-02-13T20:50:00.002+08:00

went for a surprisingly interesting and useful talk this morning. was very inspiring as well. managed to answer my questions somewhat and give me some direction. and apparently overload of creativity is real in this line of art, advertising. i guess it's true, we do have boundaries to follow. but the teabag-tea leaves one was just ridiculous. but alas, if i wanted free, untapped creativity i really should just become a painter. perhaps when i'm grey. ah i love art to the bits, so very thankful i'm in this industry.

i think im slowly taking the first step to stepping out and looking at other options.
although i dont have many to choose from, and i'm not trying to be sweet here! the good ones are gone, and the compatible ones are under the sea or held captive by the ravaging monster known as the boyfriend.
i have pretty/little-awkward/semi-hipster lecturer! has a boyfriend tho, rats! heehee jk.
life's looking up so far. i want it to stay up. oh God i pray it does.

hmm. i should really start praying daily again. i honestly dont even know how i'm getting thru life being a christian, i dont even read the bible. Brother Phillip forgive me. i'm a disgrace. haha. but yeah. all these little stuff, it changes things. God changes things. i want change.

Fin~

want, on hold.

2012-02-12T16:16:00.004+08:00

oh, stop it, you. how you read my mind and shared the same idea about how much we value our brotherhood, it's just simply adorable. (:

so, we dont always get what we want. but im sure i'm getting what i need.
thank you so much.

the lost weeks have come to an end.

Fin~

want.

2012-02-09T18:38:00.003+08:00

talked and teared up with a good friend today. my mind's failing me, my heart's breaking without even being touched. so many things i feel i'm doing right, yet so much i've yet to learn if right or wrong. so many things i believe is the real way, but so many things i realise i don't understand. loneliness is creeping from every angle, and i even forgot God was there for me. stupid, real stupid.

no one's really ready for the idea of letting go, are they? they say that "if you love someone so much, you have to learn to let them go". and i have convinced myself, every part of me, that i am. it is only fair and right. i only want what's best for you, and that is nothing but the truth. you will always come first. if you want something else in someone else, i have to let you go, and i will. i will let you go, because i love you, and that is what it means to me to be in love, that you always put the loved before yourself. and i say i'm ready, cause i have prepared myself, and know i am as ready as i'll ever be. but i'm not, really. no one is.

i wish we could be what we want to be and do what we want to do and still be what we want in each other without trying. i want to never have to sacrifice anything for you in the dark, and you would want to know about every sacrifice i make, cause it's all for you. i want to be the first and only choice in your eyes, and you in mine, and we both would never want to choose someone else. i want you, and i wish you wanted me now too.

but we don't always get what we want.
i hope if not now, that what i want will be what you want as well soon.
i'm still fighting while i can with all i am for what i want.
i always will.

Fin~

broken.

2012-02-08T01:43:00.002+08:00

broken broken broken.
please. i need a replenishing of strength. i need to hear them.

Fin~

i need

2012-02-07T17:56:00.000+08:00

to get away from it all.

Fin~

SINK THE PINK

2012-02-07T01:44:00.002+08:00

i feel i have nothing to offer to the people around me. i know i know, i'm doing the best i can and that's what's supposed to matter, and hell maybe it is, but i can't help it. i want to be there for everyone, but not everyone needs me, and i dont have everything everyone needs. broke my wallet zipper today, realised my bag's close to breaking last week, and my emotions for everything are reaching an all time high, and i can't seem to come down. as great as that sounds, it's really not. im sure it's a phase, and all phases pass, but the phase is here and now. this sucks.

Fin~

keep it.

2012-02-05T23:56:00.000+08:00

met Yokepei today, really surprised me. silly girl doesnt tell me anything. missed her so much, but she made up for it lah. felt so much better after telling her my current situation; that's always how it is with me and her. i always end up telling her my problems and she doesnt always have the answers, but i love how she loves to listen, or at least listens even if she doesnt want to, pretend if she must. but she so kepoh, im sure she enjoys my stories. :D i dont care where i am on your list of nonsense whatever, you're pretty high up on mine. thanks yokepei! and i know you read, so yes this whole paragraph is for you. yay!

i think i need to learn how to not ask people about their problems. i sincerely want to help everyone in any way i can, i want to be a pillar of strength to someone all the time, and i yearn to be the one who listens, but i dont seem to realise not everyone wants my help. i can't offer that much anyway, but i really want to offer all i have to anyone who needs it. but i guess i dont need to know everything. nothing done in excess is ever good, even offering your shoulder. just be THERE, Bryan, not force your way in, jeez. get it together, man.

Fin~

always something. 2

2012-02-03T20:28:00.001+08:00

i love how you always start a conversation by insulting me, saying stuff that hurt, stuff that i already know, and then only after giving me an option. that's great, not hurtful and totally does not instill anger and sorrow. im getting pretty tired of having to prove myself in the dark, just so i dont have to face you coming home to ask me whether i exersised or not today. it's pressuring, and i thought that as your son, maybe, you know, you'd pick up on my traits, like maybe, i dunno, i can't do well under pressure? that's pretty useful to know. but hey.

and i'm just starting to remember the whole singapore thing. thanks again, srsly. i mean, it's definitely not your fault that you planned on a saturday already knowing that i not only dislike holidays with you because you are always doing stuff only you think is fun, and that i have a chance of having saturday classes. what's even better now is that the lecturer doesnt do replacements. and if i miss another class, even if im sick, im failing this sem. but hey, at least we're all going on a holiday. with another family. whatever that is supposed to do for us. all's peachy.

Fin~

hiatus due to weather.

2012-02-01T23:26:00.002+08:00

shit, stupid heart's gotta race when i'm talking to you, and stupid brain wont think of a proper topic when i want it. going back to what we were would be a fine feeling, but i want that at where we are now, and more.

things are going a bit crazy right now in my heart. thank God i finished my perspective before this came around, or else i wouldnt be doing jack squat right about now. falling in love, real, deep, true love is tough, especially when you're at this stage. i think i'll stop with the spilling of feelings on this blog for the timebeing, it's becoming excessive and overboard, and nothing done in excess is a good thing. overthinking doesnt help either. i shouldnt be this way in general, it's not healthy for me or the people around me, and i dont want my blog to be this way. i have to cool this off somehow, someway.

so for now, here's a picture of my latest shirt.

life's going to get better, i'm sure.

Fin~

Pagi Yang Gelap

2012-01-31T03:04:00.000+08:00

i might not be the most rational or smart, but im sure something was off. i'm glad i took the initiative to think about it and voice my opinion. that was the first time i did something that big with so much pre-thought and ways to cover up the holes i had. wow, Go bryan.

3am and all i can think about is what i actually, in fact, have to offer.
go bryan for real.

Fin~

reminded.

2012-01-28T23:44:00.000+08:00

i think you deserve so much thank yous, aisha. you've been such a wonderful BDM to us, and sometimes we dont seem to see how much you do for us, and sometimes we dont know how else to express ourselves in such a way till we feel we have appreciated you enough besides typing it out on our blogs and you about how great you are. maybe that last part is just me, but srsly man you've done so much for the youth. you've taught us so much in your own way and style, walked us thru tough times, stayed patient with us when we were being animals, been a wonderful friend and advisor, and been a mother model to everyone. you've lead us in a new way, on a fresh path with the same vision, and it's looking brighter with you by our side. thank you so much, aisha, for everything.

ps: we need a better photo together teehee

Fin~

Fuwah.

2012-01-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

omg yay good news. hahahah. looks like not everything is one-sided in this world, neither is everything lost and not ever possible. :B time to prove my worth as a man. HAHA.

road's gonna be long, tiring. but i can see how worth it the ride will be, and i have already packed my bags and been ready for it months ago. i've just bought 2 tickets for the both of us, and i am ready to ride, but i think the journey, above all the roadblocks and portholes we find along the way, will definitely be truly wonderful with you travelling it with me as well, and what awaits us at the end if and when we get there, will be magnificient.

oh love love love.

Fin~

thank God

2012-01-28T00:25:00.000+08:00

no one reads this blog. hahaha

fail bunting i made for the Flea Market. oh well.

and just to clarify, i aint getting no girlfriend. not any that i planned, anyway. ahaa. just gonna let her know how i feel, that's all. crypticly said that at the very beginning at the post! but yah i overexaggerate. but i really want this to bloom, cant just stay like this. but still i'm damn shai. hahaha.

Jakarta was pretty good for a family outing, but then again it wasnt during my college day.
nothing much is going on besides being scared balls. hahaha

Fin~

1501st post

2012-01-26T00:33:00.001+08:00

I think I'm gonna do it. I think I'm really gonna do it. I'm going to ask her what she thinks. Not really a big jump but it's pretty big to me. I've done this more than I can count, in the stupidest ways possible, to the people im confused as to how ive even had feelings for, But now I'm gonna do it again, this time with someone different. and I'm kind of afraid.

Not counting this moment right here, I think ive only fallen in love once. Like, deeply. But back then, deep was pretty shallow. Didn't know what it meant to fall in love last time. I think it's kind of, picturing yourself with the person, and picturing yourself happy with the flaws. I don't know what love its, honestly. It just is. And I've fallen in it.

Come to think of it, how deep was deep last time anyway. Nothing more than giving the girl you love a card, with drawings that you would burn now, and spilling your feelings with half assed words that wouldn't mean a thing to any girl at this age, but with good intentions. But that's the best any 13 year old could come up with, I'm sure. Or at least one that was love struck.

Intentions wre still the same tho, I've always loved marriage. Maybe love is when you see yourself at the church as you take her hand from her father's, and put the ring on her finger (cause you liked it :B). Or maybe its the idea of growing old with the person, watching your favorite teevee series over and over till you finish each other's scripted endings. Hell, who knows. Maybe it's just the idea of walking on the beach, hand in hand, never wanting any moment with the beloved to end.

I've fallen in love with her. She's so beautiful in every way, I don't know how. Magnificent, funny, loving. Hilarious little thing, this heart. It instantly turns someone who you find so much fault in into something you find so attracting with a simple push called love. Removes so many flaws, reveals so many hidden ones in return, and even then still shows the counters to it. How funny, I'm so willing to live with all these. Must be all the love. Like a drug. Haha kesha you stupid.

I'm in love. Deep deep love. And I can't contain it. She'll know soon. I hope she's prepared. I hope she knows what to say. I hope I myself know what to say. I hope we'll know what to do about it. I need to be smart about this. We need to be smart in this. But Im stupid. What now. Hahahah. I don't want to go in and come out with nothing, yet I dont want to lose my best friend at the same time.

Oh words. Please come out right, you always seem to let me down somehow, please not this time, I'm begin ya bro. Please tell her that I love her, and that I am willing to wait if she isn't ready or doesn't see me fit, that im willing to try change little by little, step by step,, that I don't mind if she doesn't see me as someone she wants. And heart, please follow the head's lead on this one, do what you promise her, she means a lot to me man, and PLEASE stop playing games with my head. It needs sleep too. Instead, come out with the words. Ladies love hearty words. Hahaha.

Oh love.

Fin~

not talking's fine

2012-01-22T17:20:00.000+08:00

i've not only always tried, too hard or not hard enough, i've always been transparent. the whole time, anytime. you just didnt want to look in my direction.

Fin~

ISFP

2012-01-21T02:09:00.001+08:00

try this:

https://www.personalitypage.com/html/personal.html

the personality type portraits was the one most off for me, didnt make the most sense, but then again nothing else was closer. but also the rest fit like a glove, EVERY single detail too, so i kinda came to a simple conclusion by myself. talk about knowing yourself. hahaha.

- May be oblivious to their personal appearance, or to appropriate dress.
HAHA omg hi me.

i think the moment you go Notbad.jpg at your strengths and Biggrin.jpg at your weaknesses is when you realise that's what you are in this personality test, without even taking the personality test in the first place.

Fin~

always something.

2012-01-17T17:32:00.003+08:00

i want out of every activity you plan from now on. i used to go along eventhough i hated travelling, and to add on to it with you, because i hadn't a choice, and i wasnt doing anything better anyway, and i always thought "this time it will be different". i have been proven wrong countless times, needless to say. but now, i have to go on one when i actually have stuff going on. that's genius, non-selfish thinking on your part of course. all your "holidays" are the same. nothing about it is fun, or relaxing, or enjoyable. it's all stressful, boring, dull, redundant, and best of all, it's forced onto people, even better when it's at the moment people are most busy. nothing about it can be called a vacation or a holiday. it's all for you and your own "family time" needs. what kind of "family time" is one-sided. you keep rambling on about how i have to not be selfish and go for your shitty holidays with you when in fact you just want me to be there so we can call it a "family outing" for God knows why you want so much of it, when in fact sometimes at these stupid holidays i dont feel part of this damn family at all.

sorry. selfish post.

Fin~

this marks the end

2012-01-17T00:51:00.000+08:00

of giving a crap about feeling guilty about not posting a new one up every 2 weeks as a new header. HAHA. dates shall not be given a crap about either, unless it's a newww thing. even then i doubt i'd care that much either.

every header will still have a story behind it, but just gonna change the name header to design, cause header sounds lame to the FABULOUS design. :B
this is the first design that i used a christian song as inspiration.
and and and this one has been used by Josh Lim as a phone background before, i'm so glad. :D

Fin~

i've been thinking

2012-01-14T23:14:00.002+08:00

this crossed my mind that time when i was in the college library, looking for a friend, only to be hung up by another which needed a face to draw. he asked me to sit for a while and look in one direction. i chose of course the one facing a wall, and man, it was dull. there was nothing to look at besides sour looking librarians (srsly man smile jeez hahah going off topic). that wall had limitless potential to be a place of expression and creativity, but it's just blank! i mean, i thought i was in an art school!

maybe it's just me, but i always had this perception in my mind that an art school was filled with ART. not art HUNG on a wall, but DRAWN on the walls. and not only was it a perception, it was a dream; to draw on the walls on something. like a huge canvas. and to think that i wont have to do it alone, and there are actually other artists who can do it, more than capable, and high chance better than myself, it makes me feel this dream can finally be achieved.

all those paintings and ads on the walls are good stuff, but they are old stuff. they should let the old, gold people pass, let the new generation come in and show the people outside something new, something the present people have done, something the past didnt do. art bags, shirts, this cant contain our potential. hang that Yao Ming photo in the gallery, bro! i want a wall, and i want one now.

if not the whole school, then a part of it. as interior design, as a way to express ourselves. we are an art school, damn it. i want color on the walls, expression at every side, from every angle. i want intergration throughout the classes and different semesters and cultures. every class of every semester of every year, everyone, painting the college with positive expression. no dissing and cussing, just a whole lot of creativity everywhere! that's what an art school should look like, and if i have the chance, i will never let it slip by. i'll take on the whole campus of not a wall, even if i have to take on it alone.

still thinking of all the formalities, but every part of me tells me "screw the formalities.". soon, i will ask for the whole college grounds and nothing less.

don't know how, don't know when, don't know much, but i'm going to turn this campus into more than just a clean wall.

Fin~

warning: Bleach post.

2012-01-14T20:07:00.002+08:00

omaigad who cares if no one reads dis! gotta do it.

1: Favourite male character: Kensei. or shuhei. or shinji. or tsukishima! or Gin. is hollow ichigo counted? omg. but most probably Hollow Ichigo, if not, Shuhei.
2: Favourite female character: Soi Fon is badass.
3: Least favourite male character: if Kon's considered as a male, he sucks. not even funny half the time. but every manga needs a mascot i guess. if not, GANTENBAINE MOSQUEDA. dull sheet.
4: Least favourite female character: Orihime, go dai.
5: Favourite arc: Arrancar arc, the whole she-bang.
6: Least favourite arc: the filler arc Bounty or whatever. was dullsheet.
7: Most attractive male character: what.
8: Most attractive female character: Mashiro before becoming a Vizard!
9: Character I am most like: i dunno.
10: Favourite captain: Mayuri all the way.
11: Least favourite captain: sorry Unohana.
12: Favourite lieutenant: Shuhei.
13: Least favourite lieutenant: Nanao is dull.
14: Favourite espada: STARK. and Nnoitra.
15: Least favourite espada: MOSQUEDA. dull sheet fight.
16: Favourite opening: the one with Velonica. :O
17: Favourite ending: wat. didnt give it much thought.
18: Favourite vizard: KENSEI.
19: Least favourite vizard: Hiyori. funny, but noh.
20: Favourite fullbringer: Tsukishimaaa. and shishigawara in second place.
21: Least favourite fullbringer: Giriko became the dullest after his fight. haha
22: Something I love about Bleach: the characters! they're great. and the VOLUME COVERS ARE THE BEST. and and and their fights. some are pretty bland, but most are well thought out! Mayuri and Szayel, Tousen and Komamura/Shuhei, Barragan and the fat pink vizard who's name i cant remember. all well thought thru. i like.
23: Something that annoys me about Bleach: NO GOOD GUY DIES. except Kaien, but that dude's BEEN dead, and let's not count the fillers, please. maybe Gin, but i doubt he's dead, and no one knew he was good anyway till a chapter before he "died". and Tousen, but HEY we all thought he was going apeshit crazy man, with eyes and stuff. i like how he died tho, from, ironically, the blind spot. but that's under the "something i love about bleach". also, it's been moving a little too slow lately, the manga. and too many fillers in the anime. once in a while's fine, but i think it's happening cause it's moving too slow in the manga as well.
24: Character I'd like to see getting more development: KENSEI. his fight wasnt even aired! wtsheet.
25: Character I'd like to see getting a flashback: KENSEI AND SHUUHEI. or ukitake and shunsui. basically more turn back the pendulum.
26: My dream fight: anything with Mayuri. or more Stark or Barragan. and i wish they'd redo Aizen's loss.
~~27: Favourite arc: we just did thiiis.~~
~~28: Least favourite arc: wat we just did this.~~
29: How many times have I watched/read Bleach: once each. still following the anime.
30: Favourite shikai: KAZESHINI. it was epic, everything.
31: Favourite bankai: can't tell cause we havent seen all, but i really like Kamishini No Yari or whatever so far.
32: Who I'd like to see join Ichigo's nakama: SHUHEI omg pls.
33: Something I'm looking forward to seeing: more new hairstyles! i love new looks.
34: What year do I think Bleach will end: i think the moment the King is revealed, that would be the last arc. i dont want Bleach to be a manga without a BASE storyline. i really do hope this fullbringer arc is the suspense to Aizen's return. soooo probably never teehee.
35: When did I first start Bleach: 2008. bought volume 21 and 22 cause i was bored. :B
36: Should Bleach have ended with Aizen's defeat: maaaybe, would have been a good closing to everything, but heeey i'm glad it's still going on.
37: Favourite filler arc: i dont like ANY filler arc! unless Fullbringer is considered one, then yeah Fullbringer arc.
38: Least favourite filler arc: all of em! i hate fillers.
39: A theory I have: Aizen's returning somehow. i don't care. he must, and i must see his bankai. the way he left the last time wasn't good. and i srsly thought he had that bunch of Arrancars (Nnoitra and Ulquiorra and shit) as like, TESTRUNS. and he actually already has like another 10 arrancars with powerlevel equal to that of Wonderwiess, all made from the Hogyoku, and their fraccions were at the strength of the current Espadas, which will put SS in chaos. that would have been epic. i really thought that, i believed that so much. that was a disappointment.
40: Pairings I ship: wat.
41: Friendships I'd like to see: Izuru and Shuhei, they should have been captains man. and Ikkaku and Yumichika, hilarious.
42: Series I'd like to see Bleach crossover with: they're fine, not necessary.
43: Favourite Bleach movie: i didnt like em in general, but the Hell Verse was pretty okay.
44: Best character design: gahhh wo bu shi tau. they're all good. i think the arrancars looked great tho, especialy liked Aaroniero's costume.
45: Worst Character design: ICHIGO'S NEW COSTUME omg. too much goin on everywhere. control yourself, Kubo.
46: Shinigami, Vizard, Fullbringer, or Arrancar: Arrancar all the way.
47: Character I used to hate but now like: Barragan. epic sheet.
48: Character I used to like but now hate: Byakuya. overrated. but his latest battle was pretty interesting, that's how fights should be, INTERESTING. and Hisugaya. i'm glad he impaled Hinamori, showed how careless he can be, as the prodigy, NOT the professional. also showed how smart Aizen can be, but i kinda expected that. but STILL.
49: What division would I join if I were a shinigami: i'd join 9th, and be pro.
50: Unrevealed bankai I am most looking forward to seeing: SHUNSUI. and aizen if he returns. omg.

that was so fun, talking to myself. :D

Fin~

"What Does Encore Even Mean!?"

2012-01-14T01:33:00.002+08:00

FOSTER THE PEOPLE IN KL, 13th JANUARY 2012

okay okay. keypoints:

i don't know how and why Aidee convinced me to get Fanatic zone with them, even the name's lame. but i'm glad we got it, we walked in like a boss with people yelling, asking to get in, while we strutted our stuff thru. hahahaha. and it wasnt even so close, just how i loved it. :D
didnt buy the shirt, I HAD MY OWN! :B

i should have auctioned it. would have gotten da dolla bills. but oh well. it's mine anyway.

they openned with Houdini. it was beyond awesome. like when MGMT openned with Flash Delirium. awesome.
met a small boy there, 11-12 tops, on his brother(?)'s shoulders. was singing along to Waste with me. that kid is going places for sure. he left during Don't Stop tho. T.T
Don't Stop was probably the best song they played. jump inducing song i tell you. epic. truly epic.
when they played Warrant, i was singing and jumping alone. D: oh well. one man party's still a party.
bukit kepong action all over again man. met the EXACT same Kangaroos there. but nothing much bout them, there was this other lady who didnt know what encore means, AND she told me to stop dancing, i told her no. but that's about as brutal as it got.
Pumped Up Kicks was last, as predicted. didnt even give it much thought, was alrd done when we got there.
there was this one Malay man who stood beside me, and he just kept bobbing to the beat. and we kept hitting into each other cause i was dancing, and we just looked at each other, traded "sorry" smiles, and continued dancing! LOVED HIM.
Helena Beat was awesome.
Malaysia surprised me. they knew most songs. cept maybe Warrant and Life On The Nickel. they even sang to Miss You! i am so proud of us. T.T
it ended really early! 10:30 or something. i guess cause it was a U rated concert, but still! so early. but hey, saturday classes. i'll be attending you. hahaha.
they covered Weezer's Say It Ain't So. a little too normal for them, honestly.
everything else, was of course, pitch perfect. very good performance, even their off-track song which i thought would be Chin Music. very very very good.

what an analytical post. but it reaally was enjoyable. danced ma bum off to everything, even the ones i didnt know. people pushed, but haters gonna hte. and dancers gonna dance too. i'm sorry i'm fat and love to dance haha.
all in all, a night to truly remember. very glad there werent any smokes and beer during the show, the rowdiness outside during MGMT was stupid. i'm keeping this ticket and showing it to my kids next time, telling them "your dad was a badass, and Foster The People were the shit back in the days!" going down in history, indeed. :D

Fin~

this weakness i feel i must finally show

2012-01-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

but i cant. D:
this is all my posts are these days. i need to take my mind of this, and do something with life that does not involve these kind of posts every single night, cause it's eating me up inside knowing how long the road is ahead till i can finally show my weakness.

Fin~

Hi. my name is: who?

2012-01-11T02:05:00.000+08:00

a friend remind me today who i am and what i do, who i am inside and who i am to others. i'm glad i have friends around me. friends i can trust, who will tell me what i need to hear. i would crumble if i didnt have them.

Fin~

goin' apeshit crazy

2012-01-10T00:01:00.000+08:00

keep calm, and hide yo kids, hide yo wives and hide yo husbands.

come on bryan. get it together man.

Fin~

FTP UPDATE: PTL

2012-01-08T01:01:00.000+08:00

so, foster the people is falling on next week friday, and i got saturday classes. but today i went to class and morning class lect said "okay so i might have to postpone classes cause i might have work to do from time to time". so we were all like, hmmm okay, dude's a part-time anyway, so it's bound to happen.

next thing i know, we walk back into class after a short break, and "okay class your next class is 1st Feb". guess who doesnt have to worry about waking up the next day! it's meant to be! PTL. HAHAHA

i can already predict the awesomeness.

Fin~

yay!

2012-01-06T17:11:00.000+08:00

i'm going for Foster The People in Malaysia! :D
MUST MUST MUST DANCE to Houdini, Helena Beat, and Don't Stop.
Warrant, you're mine to groove in a awkward square to.
and the MOMENT the play Love. they simply must. fanboy singing all the lyrics with noobs staring and think "is the dude high?"
i'm so excited. :B

Fin~

lost and found: minds

2012-01-06T02:13:00.000+08:00

feeling a little close to useless right about now. couldnt help a friend, feel like i'm losing one, feel like i lost one already, can't be with that one, one's far away, one's acting weird and i take the guilt i made in my mind on myself, read something simplethat sparked the idea of uselessness in me. at least i can draw and play the guitar in weird awkward ways, cause that helps every situation.

i need to figure out what am i here for.

Fin~

moving along

2012-01-05T19:27:00.000+08:00

went for laser tag yesterday, top scorer. but that's not what matters, have you SEEN i-city!? maybe i'm just easily impressed by lights on trees but it was FABULOUS! the parking ticket wasn't, but i dont see why no one likes it. yeah it might be a white elephant and a waste of electricity, but wow i loved it. it was so pretty and nice. even sat on the car-thing with Gus and sang songs, so i'm all good. reduce the parking ticket price and i'd go anyday. :D

and moving on is some tough stuff, especially when the circumstances are tough. going against all odds. aint gonna be easy, but never give up on yourself or life, people love, need and depend on you. you are young, you have a whole life ahead of you. and even when you feel your friends have failed you or tried their best and you have no one supporting you, you always have God, and you definitely have His word to lean on, and that's some heavy duty walls that will never crumble. (:

Fin~

Living The Dream

2012-01-05T01:32:00.000+08:00

this entire video, so inspiring when i see how You Can't Take It With You was made, how they pressed forward. obviously this is all the GOOD parts, but still. very inspiring stuff. i'm fairly motivated now. omg julio's song. lolz. and for the record, You Can't Take It With You is a kick-ass album. i take back everything, EVERYTHING i've ever said about As Tall As Lions, and replacing it with an EPIC. flat-out.

Fin~

As Short As Tigers

2012-01-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

made a new shirt. happy. :D

had a good session with Ps. Daniel Ross today, asked the question i wanted to ask about the unfairness of this world. i'm starting to see the light a the end of the tunnel. and the beegees session at the piano with my sister and nick was hilarious. on another note, aaaah love is in the air, but i can't grasp it.

if you're reading this, do know that i love you, and i want you now, but i can't have you, not in the current time anyway. if we both don't find someone else for ourselves except each other down the road, remind me of this, so i can tell you the story about why i had to wait patiently. with you leaving to widen your horizon, i really hope you'll wait for me and be patient too, and still see me perfect for yourself even after seeing the others.

single most lovesick, naively passionate, vulnerable, thing of 2012, and it's only been 2 days. this is going to be one long year.

Fin~

2011 Recap

2011-12-31T01:09:00.000+08:00

i cannot remember much. but i do remember this year being quite a big turn. i discovered a lot this year, of people, music, art. i believe i've grown up but not lost the simpler touch. maybe we should do a small recap.

highlights of 2011, or at least those i can remember.

Matthew's Birthday.

we really got matthew this year, and we didnt even try. 88 Steamboat ma ass bro. hahaha

TOA.

i think this has got to be the biggest thing that happened to me this year. i joined a college that has bad lecturers, misfits and uncomfortable chairs, but i'm doing what i love, and i'm in slippers every other day. this is the life. :D

Redang with CD1105-02.

it was the most relaxing vacation i have ever taken. i aint even kidding. it's not because if the friends, mom. if we did this, NOT fly, not going and walking around some town buying crap i'll never use, i'd go on a holiday with you guys any day any time. this was the most relaxing moment in 2011, pure sincere bliss.

The Music I Found.

i don't even know where to begin with this one. too much good stuff to start. i'm beyond glad i saw the light. and for that i have someone to thank.

MGMT.

it was phenomenal. psychadelic, epic and mind-blowing. and even came home sober. hahaha. a night i will never forget.

Meeting people.

i have met many, but i think the person i am most glad i met this year is aidee. everything else about her, maybe she'll find out herself, in a card shaped like an ipod. :D

El Elyon 2011.

glad i was given the chance to be part of it. it was also a night to remember, the lives that we touched, how God moved. it was amazing.

Jet Camp 2011.

it is by far the most emotional camp i've been to. i bonded with so many of the people i already know, and tied the knots tighter. Papi will forever be papi now. this is something to remember.

Christmas.

OMGOMGOMGGGGG i lost the photo with all the shirts on the beeeeeeed. T.T T.T T.T HUHUHU CRY CRY. omg. that really is a waste. but oh wells. cant do much now. but i did take individual photos for all, so that's good news. :D this year's presents were epic, if i do say so myself. i'm proud of myself, and i'm glad people liked it. (:

YOUTH.

this was a gradual thing, but it kicked off in 2011 for me. i finally feel like i belong here in this family, that we are finally understanding what it means to be one with God, with one another. we are a family now.

man i wrote all this half asleep. forgive me.
this year has been throughly enjoyable and fun. times were tough when they were supposed to be, and i conquered them with integrity, most of the time i guess. haha. i have no idea what i'm saying at this point.

2011 has been good. hoping for a greater year ahead. thank you Lord for this year, that i came in with expectations and you have met them, that i came in with questions and you have answered, cause you are THE MAN. (: i leave 2012 in Your hands as well.
goodnight!

Fin~

I Can't Seeee

2011-12-29T22:39:00.001+08:00

omg that lastest post was BLINDING in this layout. oh well, don't read it lah. check out this photo instead!

that's for you, Eugene!

Fin~

Stole From Tumblr Cause I No Care

2011-12-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

I’m a Girl / Boy.
I am a morning person.
I am a perfectionist. With most things.
I am an only child.
I am Catholic.
I am currently in my PJs.
I am currently pregnant. (TOTALLY BRO)
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.Sort of.
I am left handed.
I am married.
I am addicted to MySpace. Twitter. TUMBLR. Facebook.
I’m shy around the opposite sex. (a little but not that bad that i need to bold it)
I bite my nails.
I currently regret something I have done.
When I get mad I curse.
I don’t like anyone.
I enjoy country music.
I enjoy jazz music.
I have a car.
I have a cell phone.
I have a pet.
I have at least one brother or sister.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I’m smart.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
I have had a broken bone.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have had surgery.
I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have kissed someone of the same gender.
I have had the cops called on me.
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.
I have mood swings.
I have rejected someone before.
I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I have watched Sex and the City.
I like Shakespeare.
I love to cook.
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I miss someone right now.
I own over 100 CDs.
I own over 100 DVDs.
I own and use a library card.
I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream. (WUT)
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I strongly dislike math.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I will try ALMOST anything once.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would classify myself as ghetto. (HAHA)
I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.
I am currently wearing socks.
I am tired.
I am currently waiting for someone.
I lost contact with someone.
I hate Miley Cyrus.
I think Party In The USA is catchy.
I’d date Harry Potter.
I am American.
I can name all the past presidents of the United States.
I know who was president before George Bush.
I love pickles.
I need the internet to live.
I prefer vanilla over chocolate.
I watched Star Trek.
I watched all six movies of Star Wars.
I own an Xbox.
I think music is life.

Music you like.
Acceptance. Coldplay. Dave Matthews Band. David Bowie. Hellogoodbye. The Killers. Blunt James. Teddy Geiger. Linkin Park. Muse. Ok Go. Panic At The Disco. Peter Bjorn. The Postal Service. Timbaland. Jack Johnson. SHINee. Norah Jones. Drake. The Fray. The Wreckers. Michael Buble. Beyoncé. Metallica. Massive Attack. Queen. Journey. The Cars. Supertramp. Eurythmics. Sublime. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wu-tang Clan. Fergie. Sarah McLachlan. Band of Horses. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Kenny Chesney. Carrie Underwood. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Neil Young. The Beatles. Brad Paisley. Tim McGraw. Taylor Swift. PDiddy.. Jay Z. Lil’ Wayne. Lil’ Jon. Three 6 ia. Nelly. Young Joc. T.I. Sean Paul. 50 Cent. Eminem. Eiffel 65. Ace of Base. The Underdog Project. Dream Theater. Santana. Alicia Keys. Incubus. Victor Wooten. Ludacris. Gorillaz. Matchbox 20. Paramore. Say Anything. Taking Back Sunday. Eric Clapton. The Darkness. Weezer. Maroon 5. The Eagles. Jimi Hendrix. Billy Joel. Billy Idol. Matt Wertz. Reel Big Fish. Anberlin. Mae. Family Force 5. AC/DC. Hootie and the Blowfish. Electric Six. Outkast. R.E.M. The White Stripes. Prince. Mika. Crystal Castles. Britney Spears. Spice Girls. The Gossip. Lady GaGa. Eagles. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Third Eye Blind. Metro Station. Motion City Soundtrack. The Rocket Summer. The Cab. Tenacious D. Something Corporate. The Moldy Peaches. Macy Gray. Mandy Moore. Plain White T’s. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Fall Out Boy. My Chemical Romance. The Rolling Stones. A Rocket to the Moon. Angels & Airwaves. The Beastie Boys. Black Eyed Peas. Boys Like Girls. Jonas Brothers. Demi Lovato. Selena Gomez. The Cure. Cobra Starship. Death Cab for Cutie. Katy Perry. Deftones. Team Sleep. Filter. Goo Goo Dolls. Honor Society. Kid Cudi. AllStar Weekend. Down With Webster. LMFAO. Five Iron Frenzy. Tally Hall. Florence and The Machine. Gym Class Heroes. Travie McCoy. Mcfly. Never shout never. Vampire Weekend. Neverstore. All time low. David Archuleta. One Direction

Movies:
Glory Road. Pride and Prejudice. The Princess Bride. Goonies. Center Stage. Seven. Ocean’s Eleven. Newsies. 300. Robin Hood: Men In Tights. Love Actually. Donnie Darko. My Best Friend’s Wedding. Garden State. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Wedding Crashers. Anchorman. Drop Dead Gorgeous. Elf. Zoolander. Austin Powers. Clueless. Mean Girls. Hairspray. Moulin Rouge. Fight Club. Pulp Fiction. What A Girl Wants. Kill Bill. Rocky. Thank You For Smoking. Little Miss Sunshine. Requiem for a Dream. The Departed. Dawn of the Dead. Memento. The Lovely Bones. 17 Again. 8 Mile. Office Space. Snakes on a Plane. Boondock Saints. The Silence of the Lambs. Say Anything. Saving Private Ryan. Superbad. The Prestige. Just Friends. Under the Tuscan Sun. Titanic. Steel Magnolias. Saw. Ace Ventura. She’s the Man. Because I Said So. Catch and Release. Music and Lyrics. Spanglish. Stick It. The Fast and the Furious. Joyride. Halloween. The Italian Job. Crash. Must Love Dogs. The Last Kiss. Chicago. Harry Potter. Rush Hour. Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Clerks. Shooter. The Bourne Identity. Meet the Fockers. Dirty Dancing. A Christmas Story. Rudy. National Treasure. Sleepless in Seattle. Miss Congeniality. The Science of Sleep. The Matrix. Everything is Illuminated. Good Will Hunting. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.Empire Records. Phantom of the Opera. District 9. Lord of the Rings. Click. Scarface. The Notebook. Twilight. New Moon. Eclipse. The Breakfast Club. Sixteen Candles

TV:
Saved by the Bell. Man vs. Wild. Scrubs. ER. South Park. America’s Next Top Model.Gossip Girl. Sex and the City. Friends. Dawson’s Creek.The Big Bang Theory. Seinfeld. Fraiser. The Office. Lost. Miami Ink. Made. Arrested Development. That 70’s Show. Family Guy. The Simpsons. Veronica Mars. Project Runway. Bones. Iron Chef. Alias. Pushing Dasies. Gilmore Girls. The Colbert Report. The Daily Show. Mythbusters. Avatar: The Last Airbender. 24. Will and Grace. House. To Catch A Predator. Whistler. Heroes. Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Unsolved Mysteries. 7th Heaven. Everybody Loves Raymond. Boston Legal. Bleach. What I Like About You. Reba. Rosanne. King of Queens. Survivor. The O.C. American Idol. Days of Our Lives. General Hospital. CSI. How I met your mother. Boy Meets World. Law and Order. Numbers. Reno 911. I Love New York. Step by Step. Little People Big World. What Not To Wear. My Wife and Kids. Supernatural. Moonlight. Ace of Cakes. White Collar. Nip/Tuck. The Beauty and the Geek. Battlestar Galactica. Stargate SG1. The Inferno. Scarred. Wild N Out. Real World. Pranked. Beverly Hills; 90210. Trinity Blood. Dead Like Me. Whose Line is it Anyway? Dragon Ball Z. Futurama. Degrassi. Greek. Glee. Secret Life of the American Teenager. The Hills. Laguna Beach. Firefly. Vampire Diaries. Doctor Who. Medium. Star Trek. X-files. Cowboy BeBop. Sailor Moon. My Name is Earl. Six Feet Under. Dancing With The Stars. Desperate Housewives. Lie to me. Misfits. Better with you. 10 things I hate about you. 2 Broke Girls. New Girl. Once Upon a Time. Pretty Little Liars. The Middle. True Blood.

wow i really dont like much in this list. what a boring list. HAHA and where's Community and Modern Family! noobs.

Fin~

5 Albums

2011-12-29T02:37:00.000+08:00

i guess the year's going to end with no other album i'd download, so this is the review for the top 5 albums i downloaded this year. my range is small, so i don't have many, and i mean MANY, but this is as good as it gets. was thinking maybe i should do a "best 5 artist discoveries of 2011", but then i thought about it, and was like naaah it's okay.

but i would have put:

5. Two Door Cinema Club

4. Hungry Kids Of Hungary

3. As Tall As Lions

2. Foster The People

1. Lady Danville

heeey just did it without trying. hahaha. but anyway here's the top 5 albums of 2011 from a closed mind of an 18 year old hipster.

5. MYLO XYLOTO

downloaded it late, but it was beautiful! almost every song was an instant love. their sound is totally new, and it really feels like they moved eras, from Viva La Vida to MX. it's a new vibe as well. it feels so well thought-thru. and i loooove the art the used for the cover, and their guitars! and that font is amazing. maybe it's just me. but hey. Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall, Major Minus, Paradise, Princess Of China, U.F.O, Hurts Like Heaven. all aces. this album is worth your ears.

i one thing i wish they would change is the few-second intros that take the slot as one song by itself. could do without the try-hard artsy 0:40 intro into songs, like M.M.I.X i mean srsly why, just add it into the song straight.

4. GET IT TOGETHER

Outasight is crazy. i dont think he ever stops writing music. he should chill out, but hey, his music is still as fresh and great as the first time i heard Radio New York. his sound is also getting better, more thought-thru, not just oldschool beats. i think that's my favorite thing about Outasight, he's fresh. and he can sing his own choruses. that is a major plus i suppose, but his beats are just gold, some of them. also, in this album, there are some from his previous mixtapes, like Never Say Never and Lush Life (if not mistaken) and both are pretty good too. there are also all the stuff from the EP Figure 8, and i think that EP was epic, so i aint complaining. Change The World, Everything (being a favorite), Losing My Mind, Figure 8, Life Or Something Like It, The Graduate. and apparently Tonight Is The Night, or something, is out on the radio. i dont get it man why dont you put out your best. oh well.

the one thing i wish he could improve is probably take some time off to make all his songs epic, some sound rushed and some quite dull. i dont really like Setting Sun, TBH. but that doesnt matter, cause it's around 2 bland songs against 15 epic ones.

3. VICES & VIRTUES

i've been waiting for this album since what, 2009, 2010? Ever since New Perspective came out, together with the snippet of Oh Glory!. those two were released maybe a little too early, cause i kinda forgot about the album, but then i heard it was coming, and i was like "meh" by that time. but when i heard it, ooo ma gad. forget Ballad Of Mona Lisa, they have so much more to offer. Hurricane, Ready To Go, Sarah Smiles, Memories, Nearly Witches, The Calendar. almost the whole album is beautiful, only kinda didnt like Trade Mistakes that much. but then, i realised they had extra songs, and they had around 6 including New Perspective, and 4/7 are BEAUTIFUL. Bittersweet, I Wanna Be Free, Oh Glory, Turn Off The Lights. then the rest are not DA BOMB, but still pretty good.

the only thing i wish they would have changed would be Nearly Witches. i discovered one where Ryan was still in charge of it or something, and it sounded EXACTLY how i wished it would be, creepy throughout, not suddenly changing tempo into something else. oh well. nothing's perfect, but this album comes close.

2. TRUANT WAVE

i have been a fan of Fall Out Boy since 2008, and when they split in 2009 i was sad sheetz. i mean, i just got to know this band and now they go on a hiatus? srsly? but then i heard Patrick was coming up with his own album, so i waited 2 long years. but before his album, he came out with Truant Wave. personally, i think i love this more than the album, although it's pretty epic as well. but why. mainly, Spotlight (Oh Nostalgia). it is THE bomb. love that song so much. and the rest of the 6-song EP compliments it. As Long As I Know I'm Getting Paid, Love Selfish Love, Big Hype, Porcelain. really a good filler while he was getting Soul Punk together. and eventhough i'm not into Pop, i'm into Patrick Stump, and man he still has it.

what i'd change about the album: CUTE GIRLS. that song sucks, i cant even believe it myself being a hardcore P.Stump fan. everything else is beautifulz.

1. TORCHES

OMG i dont even know where to start. heard Houdini a month before Pumped Up Kicks got onto the radio here in M'sia, and i was instantly HOOKED. Houdini has got to be my favorite song of 2011. hyped up song with a most interesting tune. and then i heard Broken Jaw, which wasnt even part of the album, and LOVED it. then Love, also not part of the album but didnt matter was so beautiful. then Life On A Nickel, then Don't Stop, then Helena Beat, and then obviously all of em. at first i didnt like Warrant and Miss You, and then i changed my mind after hearing it twice. and then i didn't like Chin Music For The Unsuspecting Hero, then i heard it again and loved it as well. omg. there is just nothing i would not recommend. it is flawless, i have no idea how. EVERYTHING. but if you want somewhere to start, listen to Houdini, Call It What You Want and Love. those 3. and you will FALL IN LOVE.

the thing i'd change: I CANT. I JUST CANT. okay lah maybe they should have sent out some other song instead of PUKicks as a lead single, but WHO CARES MAN. love love love this album, and everything else. wish they would make more songs too. but that's being greedy. :B

---

in the end, i think all these don't really qualify to be called my favorite albums and such of 2011, (except Torches, that's just THE SHIT) cause these arent exactly at par with the other stuff i found, but those were in 2010 or 09, so it's a shame. oh well. that's about it. goodnight. :D

Fin~

omgyay

2011-12-29T01:49:00.000+08:00

i'm an average student! :D GPA score 3.08, Not Bad.jpg
i guess i'm aiming a bit too low, but never being average, and now getting slightly about average, i'm actually kinda satisfied, kinda happy too. :D

now sad news. D:
i'm going to have saturday classes! D: that is the saddest of all sad things in this sad world full of sadness. just sad. so i don't think i can worship lead for a few weeks. ): that's a bummer too. but hey, might be a change of pace i guess. and and and i have to share a class with AD02! D: i mean, it isnt exactly a bad thing, but maaan i have to make new friends AGAIN. aaaah.

but more exciting news! i'll be sharing a class ons saturday with IL! yay. but wait, gotta make new friends again too! aaaaaaaaah. whai. we are art students man, we don't socialize! why are you doing this to us.

but as an overall, i'm fairly happy with my results. it was a lot better than expected. not exactly GPA4.01 standard, but i'm content. i still believe i hold something special, and i can't wait to show it. but until i do, imma be content. :D

Fin~

Affections

2011-12-28T00:46:00.000+08:00

so troubling.

Fin~

the Memes all make sense now.

2011-12-27T01:49:00.001+08:00

omagad. Inception has got to be one of the best movies i have ever watched. it's like, the shit man. i dont even know how or why. it was just mindblowing, all the ideas and how the scenes were played out. and the twist and all and omagad. just omagad. Shutter Island, i just MUST now. these movies that play with minds and emotions, about twisted people and minds, it's just so interesting. quite interested in watching 23 too now, but we shall see how that goes.

kinda been having an inception of my own, how i overthink, but i dont.
let's say i think about an idea, which i know is a bad idea, and in the end i do not carry out the idea.

but where did the thought of having the idea come from in the first place? and why is it happening more than once? why do i always think of the bad idea when i clearly know it was a bad idea to begin with from experience of thinking the idea thru the first time? why was it there in the first place if i already know with my mind and soul that it's not right and i'll never do it?
Josh told me it was a good way for the devil to set up grey areas, and i think he's right, everything's becoming grey in this catagory, in this idea. but in the end this was just a random thought and theory discussed among friends. very trivial, not exactly worth paying attention to.

christmas photos, yes yes. but thing is some of mai other fwenz still no receive it yet. latest early new year, promise. HAHA

oh well. after staying up till 6am in the morning with loved ones, one gets tired i believe.

Fin~

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T00:09:00.000+08:00

this is what's coming this christmas! i sure hope everyone likes it. :D

my tumblr's been more active lately, been reposting stuff and posting up nonsense to give an idea of what my tumblr would be like in the future. but i havent forgotten this place. i would post more, but it's christmas, and i'm kinda tired. will see you all tomorrow. this is going to be a wonderful christmas! :D
oooh the time of giving is here! i love it.

Fin~

Exciting News! 2

2011-12-23T01:38:00.001+08:00

The Art Blog? yeah disregard that, i've moved to Tumblr. fret not, like i've said before, i'll still blog here about daily life stuff, and the tumblr will be used for my art. to those who visited the stuff yesterday, i'm terribly sorry. i'm deleting it. hahaha. check out the new one HERE! :D

christmas is coming and i'm excited. let the happiness commence!

Fin~

i so stwess

2011-12-22T23:53:00.000+08:00

not that i cannot take your more than olden age thinking and childish comments, but i can't take them in the state i'm in, moreover you're my parents man come on. give me little time to relax after finishing another 5 hours of frustrating, tiring work, huh? a little I'm Joking or It's Still Nice wouldnt hurt either.

Fin~

Exciting News!

2011-12-22T03:07:00.001+08:00

~~i've finally did it. after making, then closing, then pondering for around 2 years, now i've done it again, like turning mountains into wax. i've made..~~

~~AN ART BLOG.~~

~~teehee.~~
really gave it thought, and i think it's time. with the christmas thing coming up, and more to come. will do my best juggling both blogs. that will be the art blog, this will be the daily life blog. they will cross paths once or twice, but that's about it. do bookmark the other, cause that's where it's going down! :B
~~now, goodnight.~~

read THIS. terribly sorry, greater things ahead, promise. :B

Fin~

Insomniac Blogposts

2011-12-21T03:03:00.001+08:00

i've been sleeping later and later recently. not healthy.

christmas this year so far is a rush! i havent started on the presents yet, and i only have tomorrow, or something. to whom it may concern, no i did not forget about your present, it's just that we only meet once or twice a year, and it's not during christmas. you know i love you very much, and would get the present for you if it was easier to give to you, and if i were less broke that i wouldnt have to CHOOSE between who i have to give and taking logistics into the equation and now i'm just babbling nonsense oh yay. but you know i love you, and that's just how it is. i still love you dearly. (:

pics of the presents in the making soon, i think. :B

Fin~

#Neveralone

2011-12-18T02:25:00.003+08:00

the strength some people have are phenomenal. it's not easy going through anything alone. but that's why God is always there, with open arms, offering freedom, peace, joy and love.

Matthew 11:30
For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Fin~

wat

2011-12-15T03:05:00.001+08:00

Shoutmix's free service is ending! whaaaat. whyyy. ish.

Fin~

The Sound Of Madness

2011-12-14T01:38:00.001+08:00

Shinedown

wow i have posted around 4 posts today. it's like me back in 2009. this is interesting. hahaha.

this header, the only thing i regret is the middle. it doesnt blend right. D: anyway, this was made back when i was still in school, and was being a rebel against the system. yeah i know it's not a system, but still, sounds cooler like that. the whole "science subjects is the way to go" thing came around here, and i had to create the Sound Of Madness and decided to pursue art during Math Class. i regret nothing. :D

Fin~

i had to delete the memories. ):

2011-12-14T01:26:00.000+08:00

this would be one of the photos that would go onto my slide if it was editable. ):

apparently Slides.com is closing down, and i can't update my slideshow anymore, and i'd have to leave them like that forever, and it's pretty ugleh photos. so i took it down alltogether. ):

maaaan.

Fin~

Album Review From October to December

2011-12-14T01:08:00.000+08:00

some are late cause i just got to know the band, or i just didnt care much to listen to it, or i was slow. either way it's getting reviewed now so shaddap.

BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB

boleh lah, the nice ones are very nice. not my favorite, but definitely promising. Shuffle, Ivy & Gold, My God, Beggars, all pretty decent.

GOD IS ABLE

i dont know if i've done this before, review a christian album, but hey. this album is pretty good stuff man. Rise, The Difference, God Is Able, Unending Love. played Unending at camp, and wow. nice tune in general, powerful song too.

III

been waiting to hear it since Dance Or Die, since they said it would be more crunk rock than dance, but, eventhough it's a pretty decent album, i'm slightly disappointed. it seems FF5 is one of those bands who get better as the albums go, but a little worse. i didnt really fancy it, but Mamacita, You Got It, Paycheck, pretty okay. would recommend it over some.

JUNK OF THE HEART

disappointing, in a sense. i was expecting more Konk, more Mr. Maker. i sad. i only really like Junk Of The Heart the song itself, and How'd You Like That. everything else was bland. maybe was not in the mood, but yeah. bland.

THE HUSH SOUND

i downloaded the whole discography, and i kinda liked it. not bad i guess, but i think i expected so much from them that the standard was too high, then it wasnt so great and stuff. but i love Medicine Man, Lion's Roar, The Boys Are Too Refined, Honey, Molasses, We Intertwined. mostly the new album stuff is pretty good.

MASQUERADE

i love! first female artist that i like with a burning passion. her voice is also another thing, i dont even like that kind! but i think i've learnt to. i loved Satellite too much to not check the rest out, and i wasnt disappointed. hahaha. Masquerade, Satellite, Shoot For The Moon, Rosey, Spiderweb, awesome possum stuff.

MYLO XYLOTO

this has got to be Coldplay's best yet. i love it. U.F.O, Princess Of China, Every Teardrop, Hurts Like Heaven, Paradise, everything. waaoo. great stuff, minus the inbetweeners that are actually just an intro to a song, i dont find that very interesting. but besides that, this is good stuff.

ODD SOUL

i was fairly surprised when i heard this album. i had a few mutemath songs previously, but never had a great impression on them, even after downloading their Self-titled and Armistice. but somehow or the other, this caught my attention and WOW it was good. Odd Soul is one of the best songs i've heard in a long time. Blood Pressure, Allies, Tell Your Heart Heads Up, Walking Paranoia. very nice.

ORTOPILOT

i used to have Little Lion Man and Hey Soul Sister, but then i found his Supermassive Black Hole cover, and i was like THIS GUY IS THE BEST SHIT EVER on youtube. and true enough yes he is. i love his work. Paradise was beautiful stuff, Nothin' On You, even freaking California Gurls. love Ortopilot. KSIolajidebt, this guy and Nicepeter is all i care about in youtube. haha

PAPERCUT CHRONICLES II

apparently they wanted to go back to a simpler, less complicated sound, and i think it was achieved. it's also at par with Cruel As School Children and The Quilt too, has it's own flaws and such, but still, The Fighter, Lazarus Ze Gitan, Nil-Nil-Draw, all pretty darn good. Stereo Hearts is NOT what GCH has too offer, that's for sure.

PEOPLE AND THINGS

okaaay lah. very much like my idea on The Glass Passenger, they all sound the same, have the same feel to it and stuff. i like Hostage a lot tho. but that's about it. what happened to stuff like La La Lie and that whole album.

SOLIDARITY BREAKS

pretty okay, but this guy still can't compare to Patrick Stump to me. but he has the skill man. C'mon Talk, Choices, Sing Hello, In Tangerine, all pretty decent songs. he should get recognized, he simply should.

SOUL PUNK

aint gonna lie, it was a slight letdown at first. i didnt really like much accept Allie and Greed, kinda liked Truant Wave EP more, but it got better as it went along. the hidden song Cryptozoology isnt half bad, neither is People Never Done A Good Thing, This City, Spotlight. what to do, im still a hardcore fanboy, but i can't wait till FOB returns. that will definitely trump this, simply cause i'm not a Pop guy.

THE CAT EMPIRE

i haven't heard the WHOLE discography since Mesh intro-ed me to them, but after a few listens to the first, third and fifth, the latest album, i kinda got the idea of the kind of music i could expect from album 2 and 4. it is very good, no complaints, but i think listening to the whole thing at once is kinda sien, so i didnt really like em at the end, but i do like them a little more than normal bands i suppose. Hello, Saltwater, Two Shoes, Lullaby, Beanni, Sly, and more lah. so many.

THE FIRST DANCE

it's basically listening to Mumford & Sons sing about marriage, my favorite thing! hahaha. but i have no complaints, all 4 are wonderful songs. very very beautiful songs. soundtrack at my wedding beautiful.

THIS LOUD MORNING

k lah, not bad lah, but has a very similar feel to all the songs that's a given. but there are a few good ones, Last Goodbye, We Believe. especially We Believe. has more to offer than your regular Pop rock artist, but not enough for me i guess. liked Lee Dewyze better.

THE WOMBATS

heard Techno Fan and i was INSTANTLY hooked. i downloaded both albums, and kinda liked em both, but they don't have favorite band material, but they have good songs. Dr. Suzanne Mattox PHD, Tales of Girls, Boys and Marsupials, Let's Dance To Joy Division, Techno Fan, Backfire At The Disco. maybe i do like them more than usual. hahaha

TORCHES

hands down the BEST album of this year. NOTHING can top this for this year. it is the ULTIMATE album, bonus tracks and all included. beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. everything is. although Pumped Up Kicks is getting waaaay too much recognition, considering they have Call It What You Want, Warrant, Love, Broken Jaw, Houdini, and everything else to release. weird weird. but still, they are ALL epic. aint even kidding.

VICE VERSES

mehh. like less Hello Hurricane, that's a good thing i guess, but i can still feel it. i dont like the feeling. but the music's decent. Dark Horses, Selling The News, Rise Above It. okaaaay lah. not my favorite Switchfoot album.

and that's it for this year. probably gonna make a BEST 5 ALBUMS of 2011 thing, but only i read this nonsense. haha

Fin~

FOOM FOOM

2011-12-13T23:23:00.001+08:00

i think Yinwhei looks great in all these photos, like every one of them! well maybe except the sleeping one, cant see much there.

went out with the machas the day before camp, and it was such a great and long awaited reunion. these women are as hilarious as they were back in camp. talked about everything, from the past to the present to the future, and it was good. and that lady, in lavender, if you're reading, no my maths is not THAT bad bro. RM 26 is NOT cheaper than RM20. so many photos to post, but i'll just make them into a collage and post em like dat. :D

Sudden gush of loneliness. might be the shock after having see your friends for 4 days straight you start to get lonely right after. but hey i might go crazy seeing them everyday, and vice versa. but maaan. still very lonely.
i need to get out of the house. i always want what i dont have. oh brain.

Fin~

Fiuuuu

2011-12-12T18:12:00.001+08:00

before i post about our machas outing, i really must talk about camp. this camp has been really great to be a part of, and run, even. not everything was perfect, but then again, nothing is. but the technical was secondary the moment God came and swept the room clean.

Camp was phenomenal. old friendships were rekindled, new friendships were made. The pool was fun at it's best, and worship at night was like a glimpse of the promised heaven. God moved in such a miraculous way. there were tears and laughter, touched lives, a new hope, freedom and love.

i'm sure everyone who had their hearts open and ready to receive, expecting something, were touched. i still believe that it's the open heart that makes so much difference. i personally had a sudden outburst of tears for no reason. that's right just let the Papi touch you and bam blegh blegh blegh tears on the ground man. but all that freedom and love and burst of happiness and joy was all possible with an open heart. an open heart can change everything.

i think the whole thing is really not planned out storytelling. oh well i'm tired.

for those who couldnt make it, it dont matter, God is everywhere and goes answers prayers. he loves the yearning and determined. pray and seek him on your own time, as we did at Camp and have your own personal time with God, cause i'm sure i've had mine.

Fin~

It's 2 o'clock In The Morning, Didn't Have A Convo So Nothing Really Got Boring In A Sense.

2011-12-09T02:07:00.000+08:00

just had to say that we Machas had an outing. it was very fun, and we will probably meet only next year. ahjahahah. but the planning was really worth it. can't wait to see the photos when i get back.

going for camp in a few hours and i'm excited, but it's a different kind of excitement. i'm actually feeling old and getting excited to see the young people excited. they are the physical fuel to my fire. ut my spiritual fuel comes from God. i am expecting great stuff. testimony in 4 days.

Fin~

Sem 2 Dies

2011-12-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

a run thru sem 2 photo form.

had a pretty awesome class with pretty awesome classmates.

we had to draw these guys on a daily. it was a pain.

made good friends. :D

laughed thruout the sem. was truly an enjoyable one. frustrating, costly, but nontheless enjoyable sem.

met a couple of great lecturers who are now friends on facebook! (:

basically this sem was a like a totally new chapter. going to be sharing a class with these people for another 2 years or so, and i am excited to be part of this class. :D

in other news, Mr. Bryan arrived late again today, and i went to complain. shame tatsun wasn't in, but i'll make sure the class after us doesnt have the same problem. i am fixing this. i am a saint. hahaha

sem 2 is over just like that, and the next chapter begins in a matter of weeks. but in between, im gonna have some fun and encounters at Camp, sleep like crazy and use these 3+ weeks to the fullest. meeting the machas tomorrow, and i think the holidays are beginning already. (:

Fin~

I Wonder If You Know Him

2011-12-06T20:21:00.000+08:00

He supplies strength for the weak.
He's available for the tempted and the tried.
He sympathizes and He saves.
He strengthens and sustains.
He guards and He guides.
He heals the sick.
He cleansed the lepers.
He forgives sinners.
He discharges depters.
He delivers the captive.
He defends the feeble.
He blesses the young.
He serves the unfortunate.
He regards the aged.
He rewards the diligent.
And he beautifies the meek.

that stretch was beautiful.

Fin~

HEAT

2011-12-05T01:35:00.001+08:00

it heat season and i can't cool down.
loving, dwelling and cherishing are all the rage bro.

Fin~

All We Care About Is Talking

2011-12-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

havent posted since forever, but this deserves the update.

but that's about it for my life so far. finished my figures, ready for the holidays so much. so many things are coming up, Camp, Outings, Life, Love, and Christmas. i'm so ready for the hoilidays, i've earned it.

Fin~

Frustrations

2011-11-29T00:27:00.002+08:00

Sith Happens.

being strong and moving along when you're tired and sleepy in frustrating times is hard.
long story to be told when it's in the proper words and filtered through a proper mind.

Fin~

Undiscovered

2011-11-26T01:12:00.000+08:00

James Morrison

i dont really fancy James, but this song means a lot to me, especially at that point in life where i was deciding whether to go to art college or stay undiscovered. but thinking now, all these songs are a little too outdated to mean something in the now. gotta catch up to the now. cant wait to show Call It What You Want, it's so beautiful! but maybe by the time it gets out it'll not mean as much as it does now. i should update faster. and a little footnote: this actually looks like a Circular Spongebob in a horde of Patricks. and that really makes me happy. :D

Fin~

Unhappy Days Is A Lie

2011-11-24T01:43:00.001+08:00

apparently according to other people i've been sounding angry the past few days, but i'm not angry. i'm just always so passionate, and yes i'm shameless when i say that cause i know it's true. and it isnt unhappy days, it's just days where problems seem to come out from your ears, and these problems are coming from so many angles. i'm sure with a few rants and anger disposals, i'll be fine, and fine as in happy-happy.

but i'm still not angry tho. here's a smiley photo as proof.

wow teeth. beautiful. besides loving Pan Mee > Fullhouse and eating Cinnabon with her fingers, my love has got to have a great smile, one that i find just that charming.

Fin~

The Rebellion

2011-11-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

more on this as the story progresses.

all i did earlier this day was go for a class and talk to my lecturer about all the things we find distasteful in the college, obviously starting with the Silk-screening process. yes it's important yes we need to know it but who in the blue hell silk-screens on a greeting card! we print that bro.

there were lots of comments thrown in and out, and then i was reminded about my little comment with Bryan 1 about the paint being expensive. now THAT i shall expand on now.

a paint bottle is RM4.50, and we buy it with the money out of our pockets, our allowance, for the rest of that month, and you dare say it is cheap? do we look like we are very interested in painting your apples and lemons on a dull background? this is not the road we choose to go down on bro, we are in graphic and advertising, and i for one want to start designing, which we havent yet by the way, and oh trust me i'll get there with you when i do, so just sit tight Tatsun.

we pay a lot of money to get into this college. it isnt cheap, and not all of us pay for it and say "hey, that's just another 5k, no matter" it's money that means something to us, money our parents worked for. and the fact that you used it as a stepping stone to prove your point was probably the dumbest thing you have ever done. if we already pay that much per semester, dont you think you should be sponsoring us our paint? cause 4.50 isnt fun and games bro, and that money means a lot to us too.

and hey i totally agree with you after you rephrased it, it is true that we shouldnt be afraid to use the colors abusively so we can get the right color, cause that is what you are trying to teach us and what we are supposed to learn in your class, but just because that you think it's cheap doesnt make it a good reason to buy the paint. if you were to put it in the way you did after, you wouldnt have lost so much face.

and just some advice: when your student comes in 30 minutes late and sees you walking in 30 minutes later, i dont think that's a very good rolemodel move bro.

and i'm not saying anything about you as a person, i'm sure you're a hella fun at parties and you are truly talented, i look up to you. but talent or no talent, party or no party, you should shape your words better, cause i'm totally on a roll with the whole rebellion idea. dem faculty better get educated cause imma comin to town.

---

round 2, i heard from some of my friends that they are getting kicked out of their hostels cause you are making room for new students. well let me give you a little, JUST A LITTLE, piece of my mind, faculty who run the hostels.

HOW DARE YOU. how dare you kick someone out of a home you gave them? and they pay for? who the hell are you? and i heard it's because you are bringing in new students? So, new students trump the old? why? let me guess, it's because the old students cant leave after two sems and are now forced to find a hostel on their own cause you arent going to help, or at least you obviously havent, cause they want to continue in TOA and not waste the half year they have already been here, paying you your fees. and now these new students trump the old obviously because they are new, fresh, with fresh money for the next 3 years, and you cant say no to them, and cant let them get away, so you open up a hostel for them, one that is home to a few old students, who of course arent a threat cause they will stay in your college anyhow.

and your excuse is cause they know the way around the place already? dude. they are from a different state. im sure they have lots of friends who run hotels and shit that can compensate for them. but even if they dont, i bet you dont worry about that, cause they will find a way, cause they desperately love the arts, and you want the new students, no, i mean the new money right away, so kicking them out ASAP would be the rational thing to do. hey, it's how it looks like from the "if you are not out by (insert date) you'll be forced out" story i've heard.

well great job, i hope the money serves you well. hey, go buy new paint bottles while you're at it. but dont share with your students, cause it's cheap, they can buy their own.

---

i think my stress and pent up anger to this (at times) ridiculous college is showing. maybe i'm just picking a fight, and finding petty problems and making them large, like Bruce Barton (HAH i do study. :D), but i'm pretty sure i have a foundation to stand on, and i will stand firm on this foundation. and i will fight for what i believe in. and trust me, i'm not even that great at this revolution/rebellion thing, srsly.

you can kill the revolutionary, but you can kill the revolution.

Fin~

Take Our Hearts Now, Have It All

2011-11-19T20:13:00.001+08:00

tanks, 9gag.

camp's coming up, and i so stwess and i didnt even do much yet. maybe cause it's a lot of pressure, to make this camp as great as it can be, and we can't really run it as usual. been thinking, what makes someone worthy to be on stage, to present him/herself to the people, and say "i am here to lead you to God's place, through Praise & Worship". is it who is more skilled, more talented, more in tune with the spirit?

The Spirit of Excellence, that makes so much sense. giving your all, being shameless in your worship, being One with God, and no other, all to the best of your human capabilities of course, but always striving for that Spirit. that is the one thing i can hold on to, believe in. in everything, let the Spirit of Excellence be there to guide and lead you. never settle for second best.

this camp is going to be something different, but i pray for Your will to be done with the camp, Lord. imma just do my best and believe for the best, not second.

Fin~

oh retardism

2011-11-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

when a retard has high passion and no self control, it's good that he has understanding friends.

Fin~

A Few Thoughts

2011-11-11T15:59:00.000+08:00

my latest portrait drawing gave me real hope, it reminded me how i managed to get this far in figure studies. i'm quite satisfied with it, although her eyes are a tad far apart. well forget that, that's why i'm not in IL.

it's been an emotional week. i'm not ashamed to say i shed a few tears on the phone, out of frustration. how my work had not been going according to plan, how my timetable's all messed up, how my friend is not giving as much effort in her work as me and yet still has the balls to complain about everything else and sleep in class--

a little more on that last topic: if you're reading this, you know what, i've had it up to here with you *shows a really high bar*. i understand if you're not good at something, if you feel tired, if you want to rest or maybe even spend money over your budget every week, that's all fine. but you can't just go out every night, go and have relaxing times, sleep in class, go starbucks every other day for no particular reason, come late when you have all our group materials, and expect your work to be handy dandy and be perfect, when you don't practice, or don't even LOOK like you give a shit. and you can't expect me to be fine with all this, cause you're not only my group member, and you hold my marks as well as yours, but you're also my friend, and i hate seeing friends slack off and not make it to the next semester. so just to let you know, YES i am truly upset and disappointed in you, and i expected much much more.

--how i cant seem to understand my dad as well as i thought i could, even frustrated with myself, how i can't seem to tap up my "passion" or what it is that makes me this emotional about everything. i've been beating myself up with so many things that i dont even know why i should in the first place, and the direction my heart is heading is not in a very safe zone either. but i'm just so tired, and sick of all this worthless frustration.

i need Pulau Redang and no responsibilities.
it's set.
when i have enough resources, i'm moving away to Pulau Redang with my beautiful wife and children, and we will paint, draw, make music and live.

for until we don't have enough money.

or maybe i should just do it this sem break.
hmm.

Fin~

Dear Tau Fei, The Loved

2011-11-08T20:05:00.001+08:00

because dear lovely taufei sounded cacat.
(note: this is going to be a blog update for/about my lecturer, so those who arent from TOA/dont really care about my trivial problems, carry on.)

hi sir. if you're reading this, it's me Bryan from your Visual Communication 1 class, second semester, AD1105-01, first name on the list, kinda chubby, got the cool hair and the sexy eyes.

just want to say thank you for being such an enthusiastic and passionate man for the students, and not for the money. i admire that trait you have, the vigor and the love you possess. oh you remind me of how i think i would look like in the future, minus the height and plus the hair. ( i only joke cause i can with you. (: ) it's truly something rare, and hard to find in a lecturer these days. how the process of making the product, and not the product itself that is important to you, is quite unique. how it's the attitude, not the end product, of the student determines their standard as an artist, maybe even a human. you are almost a genuine hipster!

and i'm sorry on behalf of the class for our late submissions and attitude. but for an answer to that, you should watch the video below. i believe you actually dont think this way, that you think this way only due to where you have worked, what you have seen and experienced, but more of that later. for wanting deadlines, you know what, i don't blame you, no one does. and of course, we are only human. moreover rebellious students. if you didnt know, we started the elevator rebellion, juuust saying. but that's not what i'm most probably monologuing about.

and above all, please remember that we love you, that's why we actually still stick around in your class. cause honestly, if you were any other of the lecturers that i disliked, you can expect no compromise and stomping footsteps. so yes, we do love you and listen. at least i do.

but sir, you are of course only a man in the end. and every man has flaws. and yours is your strength. like my mom always says, what makes us strong also makes us weak. you are an overenthusiastic, overpassionate man. a little over the top, and you expect every student to have great attitudes towards lots of work, the positive "I'll get this done tonight!" attitude. well sorray, but not all of us are like that. you cant seem to understand us. this generation has it's ways, late deadlines dont matter to us, only the end product is what matters. quality is always over quantity to us. could only be me, but us sounds more united, doesnt it. you need to chill, and realise we dont roll well with deadlines, and that's just how it is. i'm not saying bend the rules for us, but try to understand us. i actually think you're doing a really good job, you are kicking asses and taking names at being a lecturer, and i ain't even kidding. next to Sack, you are up there bro. just chill out.

and just an extra note, which is only an assumption, but when you were talking about quality over quantity, you kinda contradicted your whole "deadlines must be met" thing for a moment when you said quality is always more important, or something like that. so, i'm just gonna assume you actually want to lengthen the time needed to hand up our assignments, and that quality does mean more in your eyes, but you cant say that up front can you, guest lecturer. hahah.

an easy-going, amateur-skilled lecturer that is loved teaches a lot better than a fussy, super-skilled lecturer that doesnt possess his students' hearts.

so please, take a chill-pill, cause we are still doing our kolams, with or without your little lecture, and we kinda like you when you try to make jokes with us. yes try, we dont really get all your jokes sorry. hahahha heeeey at least we still love you. (:

Fin~

Pazzion 2

2011-11-06T16:35:00.000+08:00

i did the sharing, and i sure hope the message got thru, i pray it did. but i did have a good experience, and would do it again in a heartbeat.

--

everyday i grow more emotional.

i'm missing yokepei a little too much. life and all is going on without her, but i just cant seem to shake this feeling. if you're reading this yokepei, ku rindumu. when you come back, even if i seem a little awkward and dont know what to say at times, i miss you a lot. inside. i really do.

and my heart's self control wall is falling apart. the question's creeping up.
maaaan, i dont want to get my heart broken so young. hahaha oooh man where's your confidence bro.
see yokepei this is where you come in and tell me something surprisingly insightful.

:\

Fin~

but but but.. but i'm scared!

2011-11-05T23:36:00.001+08:00

woooooh first blog post on the new lappy! :D

sharing in front of the youth for 10mins for the first time tomorrow. wouldnt' say i'm scared, but i'm really nervous. excited, yes, but nervous all the same. i know it's supposed to be no pressure and stuff, but the pressure sure is a lot still! i want to touch lives tomorrow. and for that, i have to sleep.

and besides that, today, found out how fun Need For Speed REALLY is.

every tomorrow's gonna be a greater day!

Fin~

Pazzion

2011-11-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

hi, celine. photo's for you, since you visited. and i kinda miss you a little although we meet, cause we aint in the same class no more. teehee.

just finished the portraits i will never draw ever again unless it's required in my work in the future, which i doubt, with anger and 0% motivation, and it is ugly. it's not even close to right. but just the thought of re-doing it out of my own free will sucks, i rather try my luck with my lecturer, who knows. i might get a C. and i'm fine with mediocrity. i just want to get it over with, even if that means being deemed only an average at figures, which isnt too bad either, since i'm actually a noob anyway.

Mr. Sack, if you are stalking me, i'm sorry okay, but i have a life, other work, and, i'm not gonna lie to you, no interest at all in Figure Studies. and between me and you, and the rest of the internet cause they need to know, Mr. ZY isnt really helping in the motivation area. juuust saying.

and i still see no reason to do figures at all in my line of work. it's as if i'll evr draw a human face right down to the proportions, like i'm in IL or something. the human face is boring to draw, it's nothing like graphic at all. at least not to me, and that's reason enough to me to be bored and unmotivated to do it besides the fact that if i dont pass this i cannot go ahead to the next semester.

and imma take this whole Figures in the Graphic Design major to Tatsun Hoi if i really get just that sick of it, right before i head over to Eric Leong and ask him about the toilets only being on the third floor. yes, i'm still not done with that topic. and who cares if he didnt design the building, he should know something's wrong about that layout.

i need to tone down the rebelion,
i need a renewed passion towards figures.

Fin~

Mural Sightings

2011-10-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

i'm still on the search for the perfect mural style to study. murals come in so many different styles, but i personally prefer the one where it's dot by dot. i first saw it in a Sonic Adventure game. i know right? and i've searched Ancient murals up, but i still havent a clue what kind of mural it is. dot by dot, precise stuff man. i'mma learn it up soon.

yes that's about all i've been up to lately, besides drawing portraits that end up looking half-assed after hours of slaving, color wheels that have colors that i still have trouble telling apart, and a flipbook. been trying to start my new, 3rd book of colors, but i'm still on the hunt for the mural! will start soon, can bet on it.

life's been good to me.

Fin~

Hold On

2011-10-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

Jet

this song, is what i used to think spoke right through me, and it did.

and it is again, but in different ways.

When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to,
For you to belong to.

i'm holding on,

but it's getting too easy to let go.

Fin~

School Prideless

2011-10-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

i srsly loled man.

i dont care if it's real or fake, a prank or the real deal. that right there is THE SHIT.
i might not have gone to a great school, but when people ask what school i've gone to, that's the greatest icebreaker right there.
in a sense i should thank my school for being so retarded, it really gets the party started.

oh the shamelessness in my humor.

Fin~

Vacation, Vacation, Vacation.

2011-10-25T00:28:00.000+08:00

still having assignments, work, pressure, extra classes, only a week, and having to wake up early is not a vacation, that's a lie!

a real vacation is sleeping all day, and living every night like it was the last we had, having the time of our lives in every minute, and not having any trouble, worry or work on your back.

i need a VACATION, not a WEEK TO EXPLORE, which you have already taken half with your replacement classes, extra classes, and assignments.

Fin~

Look both ways when you watch for cars

2011-10-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

a little too deep in love too early.

Fin~

Leave The Past Out To Pasture

2011-10-22T00:51:00.000+08:00

i dont have any work, but i still feel so busy all the time! i havent time for myself, my own time to use. pinned down by curfews and responsibilities! i need to get away from it all!

now a less dramatic version.

this next week is gonna be exploration week, and i couldnt care less about the house, the dog, the work. i need to take a vacation, and vacations arent exactly always a getaway from home with family. i want a vacation where i actually HAVE FUN. and it'll start tomorrow after i send the children around, cause it's a responsibility.

the things i do for Pastor Lei Thein, or however it is her name is spelt. congrats, srsly. i'm really happy for you, to find love at any age, it is truly beautiful. but it's still your fault i'm a day late on the relaxation haha teehee

Fin~

Pillar Of Strength

2011-10-21T01:21:00.002+08:00

"it's not the long walk home that will change this heart,
but the welcome i receive at the restart."

Fin~

Son I Am Disappoint

2011-10-18T01:49:00.002+08:00

I ROFLEDZ.

i've heard The Wombats, The Kooks, and Jack's Mannequin's albums in the past day. so far, it's deemed letdowns. i expected so much, especially Junk Of The Heart. i'm gonna give it more tries for sure, but right now, i'm bummed. i'm not in the mood for Cat Empire right now, and i'm quite afraid to touch Night Shades, i fear it might suck. Cobra Starship's losing their individuality, they are moving to the things of the world! HAHA. finally downloaded Dead 60's discography, and Sheila On 7 too, but i'm afraid both might not be good either. and Soul Punk and III are released today! gonna get them tomorrow, hoping for the best.

the music industry is getting worse, and i can't even use the term slowly. bands that i love, please stay the same, don't stoop down to the world's music standards.

Fin~

Forgotten Post

2011-10-17T16:37:00.001+08:00

note: (i missed out this post, cause while i was typing it, the internet went haywire. gonna post it now, with this dfate, although it was meant for last Thursday or something.)

i think i'm caving in, the work suddenly got a lot harder in a short time. this is the moment of uncertainty, the moment i loathe the most. the moment i was hoping would never come. but it's here. i'm starting to doubt where am i supposed to be, if this is right or not. i'm never dropping out, that's certain. but whether i will enjoy the rest of my 2 and a half years here is another question.

why oh why. how i hate being who i hate and doing what i said i would never. i must hold on to hope, or at least what's left of it.

Fin~

Hearing Voices

2011-10-15T01:51:00.003+08:00

OneRepublic

these days have been hard. i am actually hearing voices in my head. myself, the different parts of myself. or at least i think it is. it's all different things and different paths, choosing different items, making different things priority. i haven't given in to any, but i can feel it caving in. i pray for a peace of mind.

Fin~

walls

2011-10-11T00:37:00.002+08:00

very interesting. but some are wrong, but heeey. it's a lot better than i could do.

i can see the line of friendship so very clearly now.
who cares for it, who does not. who's moving on, who's still left behind, who's changed, who's the same, what's acceptable, what's not.

seperate note:
i'm going through a very confusing time right now.
i wonder who you are, why do you look so different in different places, like you don't look constant to me. you look so strange and superficial.
i wonder who am i, whether im doing the right thing, everytime. i don't go in headstrong, i always go in thinking i know what i'm doing, then i doubt myself and get all chicken. and i seem to be thinking everything that is wrong, all the ideas depicted wrong by the people in general, and only i am standing for myself on that one idea. to add to that i chicken out when i'm told otherwise. i'm lacking my self-confidence, right when i thought it was back in the palm of my hand.

i start thinking maybe i need someone to depend on. whether this feeling could just be simple peer pressure, or maybe it's the source to my confusion, is still undetermined. i need some sort of pillar that would love me with all my flaws, and a pillar i can lean on, depend on, believe in, and i can scream my heart out to, and that would listen and give me advice in a way i would understand. i can't even tell if it's just stupid to think that in the first place, or whether it might end this and fill my life with butterflies and flowers.

all aside i have a life to live, and it can't live on rants alone, although it seems as tho it has been. tomorrow, it must be a new day. it has to be.

Fin~

Dear Keepers Of The Kids

2011-10-10T21:12:00.005+08:00

i'm here today to give you some parenting advice, on how to control the supposedly angsty, calculative, and most importantly, always wrong teen in your home.

always compare.

do it. they need it. they need to hear all the bad things about them when compared to other siblings, sometimes even their peers, cause they don't have feelings. they need to hear how lazy and stupid and slow they are at that moment only. (don't use the other times they have caused the same fuss, cause that's not how you guys are supposed to roll. do however use the word "always" cause that really kicks the kids in the nuts, even when they only did their bad habits at that one moment.) Even when they are piled with homework, assignments and deadlines, a lot more than an average housewife has on her plate, compare. it wouldnt hurt them at all.

always threaten.

don't worry, it's all part of the procedure. dont be afraid to use the "get out of the house" card, cause they'll eventually give in, and you'll reign triumphant, and that's what you want, isnt it? that's all you need. to never be wrong, and that's what you are. use every card in the book, children always give in. and it's always the right thing to do.

never take their feelings into consideration.

as the kids grow up, they dont need your sympathy anymore. hit them with everything you got! not physically tho, they will heal from that. use harsh words, and i dont mean cursing. use mean words. words that stab the children. call them something they aren't, piercing their hearts and their self esteem, cause those things dont matter unless they submit to you. and when they retaliate, you have to think fast and think up something that can counter them. and dont worry if it doesnt make sense, if they retaliate saying it doesnt make sense, you can always shut them up by doing the above or the bottom. and you should, cause it's the right thing to do, always. and never forget to never take their physical conditions into consideration too. tired children are easy targets. just let them do their assignments like they were taught by you to do, then hit them with what you got.

always guilt trip.

the guilt trip, great move. tell them how much you slave and work all day, when you actually spend more time sitting on your thumbs than they do in college or school. also, and always remember parents, driving to and back from college, studying, doing assignments, studying some more, doing assignments and doing more assignments is never as much work as driving them around.

never remember the good things they have done.

it doesnt do much, it just brings all your other moves down. always remember, their bad always covers up their good, and it is never the other way around, even if it's 2 month's work against 1 night of retaliation due to emotional and physical stress.

always talk bull.

stay with me here, parents. it's not that you have to talk bull straight up. just put a few in here and there. always say something bad that they have done that is totally irrelevant to the topic, or a threat that makes absolutely no sense, cause that's how a good lecture works.

this advice can be used by any other authority figure. Teachers, Lecturers, Headmasters, The Police, Pokemon Trainers, Ghostbusters, Head Of Garbage Collectors, Government Officials, you name it. it's international, multiracial, and all-powerful. the Chuck Norris of advice on how to control people.

and to end this little speech, i'd like to add that this always works. the children always come back to you, with their head down, apologies hanging from their mouths, and their heart caged, their feelings under control. they wont remember all these things, all the pain from your words, all the threats you threw and guilt you instilled. children don't remember much at all. something else you can use to your advantage.

----

done. i feel a lot better.

and here's a little something without a hint of sarcasm, for real. Children: they will always love you. flaws and all. talking about their flaws, of course. hahah. they know you have flaws too. weird little things, they are. and let's not talk about YOUR side of the story for once, we know all that you have done for us and we are not saying we are ungrateful and we are not acting that way either, but this is our part of the story.

they give and take with you more than you realize, more than you do with them too sometimes. and they do a lot more than you know for you too, some you know some you dont. a day off, maybe a day to let go some emotional and physical tension wouldnt hurt so bad if you could try being a little more understanding to them. and once they are pass the anger and frustration, all they need love and compassion. they do not need any of the above. they just need a hug sometimes. give it to them, give in to them. you can't win them all, but by "losing" that one battle, i assure you, you will win the war.

lulz i should be a writer. oh the number of people i would piss off/lift up at the same time.

Fin~

feeling's been around, not a one time thing, just saying.

2011-10-07T20:39:00.001+08:00

great, i cant wait to leave all the work, and i mean ALL the work, meaning the work that i have done that is equivalent to more work than the three little ones have ever done COMBINED cause you have never called them to help out and you always let them off, that i have done for someone else anyway.

and for record-sake, your threats are getting more and more baseless. just saying, you aint helping.

Fin~

smell of class pride

2011-10-05T19:17:00.000+08:00

there's just something beautiful about the mix between standing for what you believe in, and standing for your friends, and being unified. it's just so beautiful. (': but i stand firm cause half the things she says to me sounds bias, over-feminine, and not at all right to me.

besides, going against everything a lecturer says isnt wrong when you are right. :B

Fin~

eat your heart out for me.

2011-10-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

you are probably asleep already. hahaha. what a good girl, my goodness.

a very blessed birthday to my very special friend,
who knows my flaws and still loves me,
who knows my secrets and how to keep them,
and has a million criterias for that special someone who would still need acceptance from me. hhahah the last part was added on but i know she needs the go-sign.

happy birthday, Ong Yoke Pei.
here's to another 5 years of friendship, and another 50 more to back that up. (:

Fin~

hello, friends!

2011-10-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

a show of hands to see who believes friendship is still important and one need not worry about the status they are in their friendship for it cannot be broken by something so trivial.

and thanks all for the wishes, cakes, bla and bla. loved being 17, im sure i'm gonna love being 18. (:

Fin~

I Smell Despair!

2011-09-30T23:31:00.000+08:00

final 50 mins as a 17 year old, and all i remember over the last year is that i laughed my heart out in the majority situations. that's the way to live. here's to another year with laughter.

was just out with the second family too at Meeples. it was utmost fun, and had wongkok before that with more of the 2nd family. and had a brownie cake omg. thank you Peiji. :D

and i was forever aloning when i got home, parents were out with the cell group celebrating my birthday on my behalf. never thought i'd see the day. hahahaha.

so many things to type! lazy. tomorrow lah, after dinner with the dudezzzxzxzx. i love birthdays. (:

Fin~

Stupidity Sells

2011-09-29T00:19:00.001+08:00

that's for you.

how dare you accuse someone of plagiarism. what if she really did it herself, what would you have to say for yourself. sometimes you are just so full of yourself you say things that hurt so much. "oh, i'm going to search this up.". and when you end up not finding it and realise you are wrong, you try to cover up with something so weak like "oh i don't even dare to search anymore." how dare you.

and yes we might make mistakes, like getting the format wrong, but as a lecturer arent you supposed to help us get back on the right track? and it's not like we didnt state ALL the benefits, we freakin DID, but noooo doesnt count as good work when it's not in the right layout. and this isnt even the real presentation. thanks, now we have to rethink a whole new idea to replace an already good one, cause you that's how hard you rejected our good work. FYI, Claude Hopkins is the most boring copywriter i've met following your studies and examples. and how the hell are we supposed to make something similar to Drink An Orange. what, Fly A Car?

and what kind of humane person would stop and read a STUPID advertisement? arent intellectual advertisements the good, snappy, smart, witty ones that work well in this day and age? well, i am NOT going to read something like "BUY THIS" cause it's dumbed down, i would read something intellectual. you keep looking down on our generation, but hey news for you missy: we love intellectuality. if you dont speak fluent sarcasm or have a smart remark, you aint gonna sell anything. and i would know better than you, it's my generation. and i'm an average person i believe. and i wouldnt read something, like, oh say, a stupid advertisement. i would read, oh, i dont know, maybe a uh, intellectual one.

and you might not realise, but you are way pro-women. and that's fine, in fact, good. i love women, and i believe they can do anything and they should not be objectified. but being negative-men isnt the way to go. and photos of women in the kitchen hold cutlery, women wearing make up or bras or mascara, i think that's fine. it's not like men are going to buy it, are they? and you've always talked about showing it to the right audience, so i see no fault in it. but then again you tend to not let us finish our sentences these days. given we do talk alot more that you initially expected (can't lie to me i can see the surprise/fright in your eyes everytime we have an opinion rivaling yours) i thought your class was all about freedom of speech. and btw, this ranting session is NOT in reverse S formation, and i like it that way.

and please let us finish our sentences. if it's rude when we don't pay attention in your class, it's also rude for you to cut us off when we are trying to tell you something, sometimes even trying to answer your question. and why say you enjoy other views if you don't think even for a second that we might be right? but lol srsly dont cut us off while we're trying to say something.

and to top it all off today, KFC (sort of) ran out of chicken.
I DONT CARE if it was 9:45pm i want my damn chicken and by george imma get it.

today i didnt only stand up for a classmate, i stood up for what i believed in and i stood up against slow-fast food (saw the intellectual pun there?) and that's about the best thing i've learnt to do so far in your sexist classes.

Fin~

Forever A Ranter

2011-09-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

stupid vision art scanning lady. scowled at me for something she scanned wrong, and gave me the look like it was my fault! the nerve. brings every scanner-person's name to shame, that includes the man sitting opposite you who was nice enough to help me out, for free God bless his soul.

listen lady, i aint gonna tell you how to do your job, but hey, do it right. and that falls into catagory 2, section b52 of the scanner-people's manual, never scowl at a customer for something you scanned wrongly. scowler. you're new name is scowler.

but i love the Vision Art owner lady tho, such a nice lady. showed her the shirt today, and she approved! (: gonna make more with my new RM10-for-6 Sharpies! cheapest crap ever. :D

and yes, come for the Little Flea Market to raise funds! (:

Fin~

Are You An Artist?

2011-09-26T22:05:00.002+08:00

i've been insecure of my artistic side lately. HAHAH.
been wondering what does it take to say "i am an artist". is it the work you produce, the effort you put in, or the way you live your life or look at life in general. or just the style you have? when can you finally say "i'm an artist". we hide the word artist in all our modesty using words like Crafter, Designer, Maker, Inventor.

but they all kinda mean the same thing in the end. i dont understand. maybe i am just being insecure of my artistic side. :D teehee. i think i'll stick to Designer for now, but that's so gay man.

Fin~

thinking of speaking

2011-09-26T17:03:00.001+08:00

how could you say something like that to someone you think you know very well, to anybody. how could you say that to anybody, you mindless baboon. no one in their right mind would say something so degrading to someone, even a good friend, even more in front of strangers. do you not think before you speak? and i know this whole "pick on D9" thing is a little funny and mostly true, but after a while of hearing the same damn "joke" everytime, it get boring, even better, hurtful. i've never liked it from the get-go, but this just crosses the line.

well maybe it's just me; cause im but a gay hipster with feelings; i think you're just jealous that you are no longer the center of her universe. or ours in general, honestly. maybe cause you've become the same brand or idiot that we all despise. you've become so annoying, repulsive, obnoxious and you're not even funny anymore. who the hell are you. and until you give me back that person i used to have fun with, you, your hair, your demeaning one-liners that are supposed to be jokes and your jack-assery can gtfo.

in the meantime, im going to stand by the people who have a heart, put thought into their every action, and are in the very least entertaining and do not speak out of their behinds.

Fin~

Believe Me

2011-09-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

FORT MINOR

the prelude isnt as good as i wanted it to be, but that's fine. i remember doing this. it was ecstatic. and now it actually fits into my moment now when it feels the world is facing me. i'll get thru it by God's grace.

Fin~

Before The Switch

2011-09-25T00:09:00.000+08:00

and now putting work before a mockumentary is a life and death situation. i dont even know who you are anymore.

Fin~

week

2011-09-24T00:52:00.000+08:00

goodbye yokepei. ): but a special day is coming for both of us. soon and very soon. hahaha

Fin~